I was disgusted by the filth and squalor that awaited me when i set foot in this hovel awash in subtstances not easily identified. children ran barefoot through the premises, wielding metal sticks with clublike heads upon the ends. other than this, it did not resemble my hometown. the service was lackluster, until i threatened the manager with one of their so-called "golf clubs." apparently there were complimentary rotund eggs birthed from some unknown beast handed out behind a glass pane at a counter near the door, but when i tried to eat one it had been spoiled and gone all hard! this establishment makes me feel loved, and so i must return for all the tickets so i can get home to my native land.